Doggy Drama

I’m fa fa fa freezing

doggydrama — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:26:39 +0000

Hi again. It’s me, Ella. And Baby it’s COLD outside. You’d think because I have this thick fur coat that I would be warm… you’re thinking WRONG. Christmas at the beach was crazy cold. I had to borrow a hat from one of the younger humans. How do you like it? They say that 90% of your body warmth escapes through your head. Now that I’ve seen how ridiculous I look in a hat, I’m wondering if that is actually true. So I looked it up. Here’s what I found out…No it is not. Only about 40% of your body heat escapes through your head. If it was 90% that would mean that 90% of your blood is in your head at the same time. Unless your head is 5 foot long and the rest of your body is only 1 foot long, this is not possible. It’s a matter or sheer volume.

: My friend Pippy

When you get cold, your blood is loosing its heat as it travels through your arms and legs. Your BRAIN knows that most everything between the waste is necessary for survival, so the brain will then order the blood vessels in your arms and legs to constrict so more blood is forced into your vital organs to reduce the loss of heat. The brain also looks out for itself by keeping good blood flow in your head – but no more so than any other time. I look like an idiot for nothing. But you know, that explains why my human’s feet are so cold in the winter. When she gets into bed and puts her feet on the tall guy, he squeals like a girl. A sissy girl. Sorry tall guy

So, beyond freezing, I had a great Christmas. Lots of eating, presents, family. It’s good to family who loves and cares about you. I try not to take it for granted. I know there are other dogs who don’t have homes. ou should visit www.petfinder.com and adopt a dog or cat of your own. OR visit your local SPCA or Humane Society. My human found me that way and I have to say, I couldn’t be happier.

Howling at the Moon

doggydrama — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 01:46:10 +0000

Hi to all on this lunar eclipse eve. I WON’T be getting up at 2am to watch the eclipse, no, but I can just feel the excitement sizzling in the air in contemplation. This morning when I went out for my tinkle, I saw the moon. Full and orangey, like Garfield the cat after a tray of lasagna. It was mesmerizing. unexplainable, like many of nature’s wonders. Let’s shed a little light on ”bella luna”.

The Moon is Earth‘s only natural satellite and the fifth largest satellite in the Solar System. It is the largest natural satellite in the Solar System relative to the size of its planet, a quarter the diameter of Earth and 1/81 its mass. It is the brightest object in the sky after the Sun, although its surface is actually very dark, with a similar reflectance to coal. Its prominence in the sky and its regular cycle of phases have since ancient times made the Moon an important cultural influence on language, the calendar, art and mythology. The Moon’s gravitational influence produces the ocean tides and the minute lengthening of the day.

The Moon has been the subject of many works of art, literature, music and the inspiration for countless others.

The Moon has a long association with insanity and irrationality; the words lunacy and loony are derived from the Latin name for the Moon, Luna. Philosophers argued that the full Moon induced insanity in susceptible individuals, believing that the brain, which is mostly water, must be affected by the Moon and its power over the tides, but the Moon’s gravity is too slight to affect any single person.Even today, people insist that admissions to psychiatric hospitals, traffic accidents, homicides or suicides increase during a full Moon, although there is no scientific evidence to support such claims.

SO… why do dogs howl at the moon? Hell, why do dogs lick their butts? You’d think i’d know, but I really don’t. YAHOO Answers says (about the howling – not the butt-licking) Why dogs howl:

The ancestor of the domestic dog is the wolf. Wolves hunt in packs and individual wolves may go scouting a large distance from the pack. The high-pitched sound of howling travels over great distances and is therefore the way pack members keep in contact with each other. Why dogs howl on moonlit nights: Because it is light. It is as simple as that. What else you wanna know???

E dog OUT… Merry Christmas if I don’ t get a chance to blog before.

What’s with all the eating???

doggydrama — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 22:48:08 +0000

Hello all! It’s evidently “eat everything in sight” day. YAY! I’m into it. The house smells MARVELOUS!!! I can barely stand it. So far, I’ve watched the humans eat ham biscuits, cheese and crackers, salmon spread and God knows what else. The tall guy is putting dinner on the table right now and I can just hear it groaning from the effort of holding all of it. I will be sure to go lay under the table in case it needs my help with the heavy turkey.

So, what’s with all this eating anyway? I mean, I’m ALL for a freaking food fest, but REALLY? A whole day dedicated to it? I decided to quench my curiosity about this eating frenzy and Google “Thanksgiving”. Evidently, American humans commonly believe that the first Thanksgiving happened in 1621 at Plymouth, Massachusetts. But there is some evidence for an earlier harvest celebration by Spanish explorers in Florida during 1565. There was also a celebration two years before Plymouth (in 1619) in Virginia. Traditionally, it has been a time to give thanks for a bountiful harvest. I guess I have lots to be thankful for. I have good humans, a nice yard and woods to poop in, plenty of food and green beans, comfy beds downstairs and up, babies to play with and treats to eat if I’m good. Thank you God for my family and my life.

Now pass me that turkey leg, cause I’m all thanked-out! E-dog

Dogs versus Cats

doggydrama — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 20:29:26 +0000

Reason #854 why you should get a DOG:

Cat Hiccups and Farts - watch more funny videos

New adventures and new friends

doggydrama — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:37:44 +0000

Hello again my little cyber pals. I am Ella and I’m a dog. I am a dog and this is my blog. Doctor Seuss is my favorite author, but I digress. Let me write this blog so then I can rest.

So my human left me at 6am, as she does every morning. Right on the heels of the tall guy who almost NEVER remembers to say goodbye to me and tell me to be a good girl. Another thing the tall guy forgot to do TODAY was close the door to the nite nite room. Guess where I took my nap today???? AHH heaven! The human bed is SO soft and comfy. I tried to get further under the covers and accidently ripped the nice white sheet. When my human came home, she started mumbling something about 300 thread count and made a face at me. Oh well. Comfort is my top priority and they only have themselves to blame. I’m just a dog for crying out loud!

Well my old friend Kelly came to visit and she had a furry friend with her named Pippi. She seemed like a nice enough canine. Friendly, calm, ate 2 of my treats but… she was alright. Here she is on the left with her stuffed cow. I don’t have a stuffed cow. I do have the Grinch, though, and a pink and purple Who from Whoville. Back to Seuss then. I DO really like them – blogs for dogs.

Toodles and fare thee well for now.

E dog

I lost a friend

doggydrama — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 14:33:36 +0000

Hello World. It’s me, Ella. I have something sad to tell you, so grab a box of tissues.

I found out a week and a half ago that my friend Laika (see my blog post “Ode To Laika” from a couple of months ago) went off to Doggy Heaven. I had no idea that I would miss her so much. She was so full of herself and wasn’t afraid to show it and had more energy than I can even tell you. The first walk she and I took on the beach, she chewed through her least like a buzz saw and ran away like her butt was on fire. All of my humans were amused by her. Who wouldn’t be? She’d take one look at her own tail and start spinning and spinning aroud to catch it. I can give you each paw and lay down, but I can’t spin around without loosing my kibble all over the floor. Talent. That’s what Laika had. Lovability. She had it too. A unique level of psychoticism. She had it in spades. I will miss her – absolutely and sincerely. But I look forward to hiding and running from, pushing and barking at, napping and eating treats with her when we meet again.

God… please take care of my friend. Rest in Peace, Laika.

Man’s Best Friend Has a Plug And A Switch

doggydrama — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:19:13 +0000

It’s true. They say a dog is a man’s best friend. I say that’s an urban legend… like the one about Richard Geer and the hamster. Men love TV. They LOVE having control over the remote, buzzing through channel after channel and only stopping at the most INANE things like that boat show with all the guys pulling tons of crabs out of icy water or that bounty hunter guy who always acts like he’s in terrible danger and ends up just breaking a fingernail. What the HECK is he watching now??? The tall guy has some taste in television programming. This show has a guy eating a ten mile high sandwich and a huge pile of french fries in 20 minutes – UGH… I think I’m literally disgusted. Imagine what that guy’s insides look like! Jeez. Now he’s switched to Steven Seagal, Lawman. OMG!! This dude is old and fat and an ACTOR. They give him a GUN and a TV show???? I’d really like it if I wasn’t forced to watch that man speed waddle after crack heads and hookers for the next hour! Give me my beddy-bone. I’m going to sleep.

Now that I’m done with my tv tirade, I wanted to apologize to the nice humans who took great care of me last week. I referred to them as “older” and they are merely “more experienced” and “more mature” than my own humans. True, I am happy that my immature humans are back because they are MY humans, but I didn’t mean to insult the “more mature” humans by calling them “older”. Please forgive your granddog for being a knucklehead.

What does it mean when they leave?

doggydrama — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 14:07:58 +0000

So, my humans suddenly started hauling bags down the stairs. I ran to pack MY bag and a baby (treats, kibble, babies, bones, kibble). THEN they took their stuff outside and started packing up the shiney red car (the one I’m not allowed to ride in, by the way). My human gave me a big hug and pat and the tall guy waved and they were gone… and so were all the bags. My brother Presto (remember him from ann earlier blog… the cat hall monitor) was sleeping soundly as he usually does, so I couldn’t ask him what was going on. Hours later, I hear the front door and hustle out to find the older humans that live at the beach. I am apparently their “Grand Dog”. THEY came with big bags. I sniffed each carefully. Damnation! One of the cases has that mouth-foaming, hiss-spitting, devil cat in it!!! UGH! The things I put up with. So the nice lady says “Ella… let’s go for a a walk.” I do my little dance and finally the man and lady hook me up and hustle me out the door. Last time I walked with this lady, she fell in a pot hole, so I watch her very closely so she doesn’t fall on me.

Then I start thinking… what if these people don’t know what they’re doing? I mean, I think they’ve taken care of me before, but do they know when I get my treats???? Do they know that I get green beans in my kibble?? Will they leave during the day so I can sleep on the couch and not get yelled at????? What does it mean when your human and the tall guy leave? Will they come back??? I’ve grown sort of attached to them and I’m worried. At least i’m at home in my own bed and my brother is here. Hopefully, that’s a good sign.

E-dog

Another Canine Conundrum

doggydrama — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 21:49:32 +0000

Word to the E-dog fans! You gotta help me out because I’m in another quandary. What’s up with vegetarians?? You don’t eat no MEAT??? Vegetarianism is the practice of following a plant-based diet including fruits, vegetables, cereal grains, nuts, and seeds, mushrooms (eh… fungus), with or without dairy products and eggs. This way of eating is adopted for various reasons: ethical, health, environmental, religious, political, cultural, aesthetic, economic, or other reasons. The only reason I can think of is PURE, UNADULTERATED, INSANITY. I appreciate the sentiment, believe me. If german shepherd was a delicacy, I would be wishing the whole world was filled with veggy-eating fools. Dogs aren’t eaten much, or so I am told (although I wonder about Vietnamese food). Luckily, my humans eat meat. In fact, I believe I’ve heard my human say she would starve to death if she were vegetarian and I KNOW the tall man didn’t get that big tummy from eating too much broccoli. Now, I did tell you that my humans have me eating green beans with my dinner. I LOVE them in my kibble, but I NEED my kibble. Besides that, did you know that many of the most sinister people in the world were vegetarians?? Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, Genghis Khan … ALL vegetarians! And did you ever wonder, why are there so many plants that are poisonous when eaten, and so few poisonous animals?? Aside from the skin of a few exceedingly rare rainforest tree frogs and polar bear liver, there are few animals one could eat that would result in instant death. To list all of the poisonous plants one could die from eating, would take up volumes!

In conclusion, no offense to the grazers, but i’ll stick to my meat, thank you very much. If you have a beef with that – well you can let me know. In fact, if you have some compelling reasons that you think I should consider ditching my kibble for something green and crunchy, TELL ME. I’m all perked-up ears.

Peace to your mama.

E dog

The Furry White Devil

doggydrama — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:35:52 +0000

Hello world. It’s me again. I must tell you about the drama that is my life. When we came home from my Grandhuman’s house on Labor Day, we brought back the little white cat that lives there. I don’t know why. I suppose we have to keep her for a while like we usually do. My human carried her in from the car and opened the gate to let her out of the plastic box where she had howled and howled for the past 2 hours and she looked like someone had just pulled her out of a bubble bath! She was foaming at the mouth! When she started hissing and snorting, I was ready to call for an exorcism. Demonic possession would explain her behaviour. What could be upsetting about riding in the car??? I LOVE to go for a ride. Wind in my ears… sun in my eyes… bugs up my nose. Nothing finer! But riding in the car has made her (apparently named Lucy) head do a 180. I’m glad she only had a hissy fit and didn’t projectile vomit. Ego te absolvo in nomine Patris, et Filiii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.

So we settled her into her room. You see, Lucy DOESN’T see. She’s blind as a bat. I guess that could be why she gets so nervous when she’s being moved. She can’t have run of our house because she hisses at absolutely everything. Oh… a shoe HISSSS SNORT. Oh… a chair HISSSSSS SNORT. Oh… a wall BANG HISS SNORT! Well, she’s still here and I’m hoping she’s just blind and NOT possessed. Lucy… Lucifer… could that just be a coincidence? I think i’ll sleep with one eye open until she goes home.

E-dog OUT